Well I thought I'd try this blog thing out on here. First of all, I gotta say that I learned a lot more than I ever thought I would in DC ~ it was all pretty awesome. So... if you didn't know, though I live in S. Dak now, I grew up in Cali... and I was like, the token Indian that whole time. Always felt so great to be at a Pow Wow and be around my other natives ~ because chances are they were like me... the token Indians on their blocks, lol. Some of them were, now that I think of it... not a whole lot grew up like me... then I moved here... and only my cousins loved me, lmao! They didn't care or hold it against me that I was a damn "city Indian" ~ they never called me an apple... it didn't matter that a wasn't a frickin' full blood or didn't know all the retarded party people who lived here. My cousins didn't get mad because I wouldn't drink with them and they thought it was cool I wanted to go to school and take care of my parents. Most of them anyways. I never complained about the others either... never was in my nature... I was always thought I was better than that... I knew who I was.

I know most of you can't understand this because I sure as hell never did ~ What bothered me for the first time in my life was the stares I got when I went to these lil crappy cities around here. I hated that my little neice and nephew were watched when we went into a store. It physically hurt to watch my Mom's happiness and independant sprirt grow weaker and weaker just because people viewed her here as some "stupid crippled indian lady" ~ another time I can tell you how important she was to the native community in Cali. I loathed the feelings my sister and I had when we realized we couldn't make jokes about being Indian because it made the wasicus around us feel funny. Well, she finally had enough. She gets to be gone, she's gone back to Cali.

Then I moved back to Cali right, in the end of '06 ~ and it just wasn't the same. Cali wasn't home anymore... I blasted my Bad Nation CD and got weird looks and laughs from the general public. I was asked again the same stupid ass de de dee questions I was asked when I grew up ~ but this amazing thing happened... I realized I wasn't a freak. lol ~ it wasn't me that had to change and it wasn't right for me to belong to only the city life or "rez" life ~ things had to change... everywhere. To stop the silly questions the public needed to know our history. To get that far we have to pull together as one native nation and create that change. If the old ones can teach us our past we young ones can create a new future. We can extinguish the crazy big city questions, we can stop the boarder town racism and we can be the bright new future we were always told we would be. We are the Seventh Generation ~ we truly are SUPOSSED to be the saviors of our existance.

Intertribal Commuincation and collaberation is where it needs to start...

~ and that is the end of my preaching for the day. Got a lil heavy heavy there for a mo'... ~ haha got all frickin AIM on ya there for a while didn't I?? Haha... ewww. Annnywaaayzzzz... what I was trying to get around to was that this weekend and this fellowship has just empowered me and created feelings that I never knew could exist within me. And it's awesome. So awesome! I can't give just the YP4 Org all the credit though. Anyone can empower you to a certain point. Created feelings in which you had no idea existed lies with a special reasoning. It was all of you who I met at the confrence, all you people were only a special few while I grew up. Only a handfull of the people I met growing up in Cali cared to know anything past tomahawks and tipis... those few wanted to know my history and wished with all their hearts they could help me change the world. This weekend I met 190 plus more of those people ~ non- natives ~ all in one shot. Of course, I can't speak for the other nine natives who attended this confrence; in case you didn't know ~ there were 10 native students who represented six diffrent tribes ~ anyways, you have no possible idea what all of your support meant to me personally. It has that fantastic, revolutionary feeling to it. It's so enthrilling to know how many non-natives would unite as our allies and storm down BIA on our word. It gives you a certain sense of power lol... but we can't abuse that power now can we? We SO can't get all AIM out there. Like I said before, if we managed Intertribal Communication, collaberated with the young ones and united like you all united for us this weekend... oh my god ~ my native youth... WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!

I'm so happy to have that feeling. You have to experiance it one day. I can do anything now. Awesome, awesome, awesome....

Now I'm back and I have to realize I alone am the one dependant on change, and I need to find the others like me... not that I ever found them here before and I fear at times it's starting to settle down into that hate mongering, fear of change idealismz again... ahhhh... soon I'm gonna have to tell them to ~ clap once if you hear me... clap twice if you hear me... slap yo self if your a follower... haha... I feel like I was in a box and went to DC and met all you outstanding people who think like me ~ only to climb back into that box. For example, our first Student Org meeting is tomorrow on campus and our secretary never put up any signs and our president really dosen't seem to even care to go, so I feel like I can be easily discouraged right now. I'm gonna go to that meeting tomorrow though, and I'm gonna do what we set up that meeting to do when I round up enough students. Like the others said though, it is the first week of school and everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off right now. Hopefully it will get better. Personally, I have a new attitude and I know I can make all the diffrence ~ even if I have to start off doing everything by myself. I just need to hang in there and stay strong!

Now back to awesome ~ to the special few I connected with out there ~ there were so many and ya'll know who you are... I love you all & that crazy ass trip to the Smithsonian and that dinner at Afterwords and those late night democratic discussions in the lobby and the 80's dance party and the cab rides everywhere and Squanks!!! OMG~ because of all of you my trip was not only so unscary, lol ~ but eternally lovely.

L8rz ya'LL~ I SOOO LUV YOU GUYZ!!! ROCK ON YP4 FELLOWS!!

~Val