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The Culture of Burnout
Location: Peter White Lounge, NMU campus
Listening to: Tinariwen, Aman Iman
Supposed to be: Studying for a GC 300 test
Thinking:
About the creepy guy staring at me across the room. He's with his girlfriend, jesus. He could at least pretend. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about balance. For the record - because this is a big deal in my life - I'm officially caught up in school for the first time since I started organizing! That was a year and a half a go, by the way. I'm still busy and have to manage my time, but not in the pull-my-hair-out-and-not-notice kind of way. This made me wonder though; is the only way to achieve relative balance as an activist* trial by fire?
It almost seems like a rite of passage. Older progressives trade burnout stories like baseball cards. "Have you had an Emotional Breakdown yet? Man, let me tell you . . ." or "I knew a guy from Greenpeace who burnt out and went to work for the logging industry. Good one, hey?" Is this the only way for us? Because I've burnt out and it was the worst experience of my whole life. I never want to be there again. As far as I've been able to tell, though, this is an integral part of the activist/progressive culture. We work and work and work until there we have nothing else to give. On the surface this seems very noble and selfless; sacrificing everything in single minded effort to improve the world. In reality though it's extremely inefficient. Imagine all that could be accomplished if we were more relaxed and energetic.
I'm definitely not the first person to recognize this problem. Most organizations preach a gospel of health and stress management that is the equivalent of a New Year's resolution. This year I'm going to get in shape - except those running shoes stay in the back of the closet. Of course, this is all very well meant and sincere. The people who have made it to the top know that what they're saying is true. You can bet Van Jones doesn't work 20 hours a day any more. But people like him can't force others to take their advice. The people who make it are the ones who fight that inner voice saying, "you should be doing more" and take a break.
So the questions remains; is this the only way? On one level I believe it is. Some of the lines we toe are very personal. I do however, have a problem with the role burnout plays in activist culture. Some lessons are hard though; until a child touches the stove and grasps the concept of "hot", the words just echo like footsteps in an empty stairwell.
* I'm using this term to mean people working in/on progressive campaigns and projects, although I know a lot of people wouldn't describe themselves that way.
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A good observation
Progressives burn out because we lack true organization. We're all fighting our individual battles against the world without each other's help. Is it any wonder that we become jaded and exhausted?
I don't believe that there is such a thing as the "progressive movement" just yet.
A "movement" is an organized, unified structure. Members of a movement are connected by the same vision, coordinate all of their resources towards the accomplishment of the same objectives, and are able to completely articulate their movement's message with minimal effort.
Tell me with a straight face that that describes us.
We've got a lot of work ahead of us, that much is true. But I remain optimistic that such a future is possible. Just realize that the responsibility is collective, and not just in your hands. It's that feeling of "me vs. the world" that truly drains the will.
Making a positive difference towards a genuine movement, as well as for your own sphere of activity, doesn't require you to move mountains. Just collaborate, network, and build a lasting infrastructure with like-minded people. Think nationally, and align yourself with outside organizations - even if they may not at first seem completely in line with your goals (talking with labor leaders about gender equity or environmental sustainability, for example).
It's through collaboration and unity - along with individual self-sacrifice - that the movement can come into being. You seem to be doing well enough! ;-)
Take a break
Some days I feel like I'mt he only person in the world who cares about what I'm trying to get done... then I start looking at the whole huge picture and realize just how far I still have to go!! And I feel like hyperventaliating for a few seconds ~ so I know what you mean. I have to get the past the old traditional ways things were done and the 50 year family grudges and the whole tribal politics to get my blueprint in the exact place I want it to be... I could get it done sooner and easier, but that would mean succumbing to the normal kiss- their- ass- to- get- your- way approach and who does THAT help? Well, Sophia told me something back in DC that I realized was so simple and totally brings me back to the moment when I get crazed ~ STOP! Don't think that far ahead, it leaves room for doubt, creates it and then you get stuck in this rutt. So I do that now~ I stop and take a breather, wether it's for an hour or a day~ and it helps. A LOT. I get back in my groove and I'm good to go again. I would advise anyone else to use such an approach as well.
Culture of Energy
It's tiring to even think of being high energy all the time. But I don't think that the exhaustive energy is what's required of us. I'm wary of the idea that we need to rest on weekends to catch our breath (I don't like to compartmentalize my life), but I also don't think we should be running full speed all the time.
When I need a break, what I really need is a mental coalescing moment, where I can find my real motivations and values. I heard it mentioned many times at the summit- I must act from a place of gratitude. If I wake up and forget this, I rush into my work trying to fix the world, and will inevitably reach my limit or fail to meet my own expectations. But if I wake up each day and metaphorically bow to the beauty in humanity, the wonders of the earth, then what comes out of it is not something I need to judge as successful or faulty. My activism becomes thanksgiving, and instead of running with the pressure of climate change or the fate of Kenya on my back, I can look toward possibility.
This comes from a spiritual sense that I can relinquish control in some places, and a trust that the universe is doing alright. So this philosophy may not be right for everyone, and even if I believe it, I need reminding.
Which brings me to my second thought- the most renewable energy is that which cycles through ecosystems. All things burn out, in a sense, but the energy does not stop moving. In this sense, I need to look to the sun every once in a while to remember where my energy comes from, but I also need to look at the people around me to see the exchange, and shared work, that carries me even when I rest. Certainly our energy will move faster if we organize and make a real movement, but my sprinting ahead will not create that change.
Thank you all for the energy you give me.
thanks
If anything, that's what my experiences have taught me. Acting as a form of respect for my fellow beings on earth is very spiritual for me and one reason I think I've been successful at it. I think you said it all perfectly. Thank you for sharing that, because sometimes it seems like people are acting mostly out of anger.